Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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