So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
