We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
