I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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