why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize