I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
