I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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