i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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