If that was your dad, he is hot
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's official drugs can't kill me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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