Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
