i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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