I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
