just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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