She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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