On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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