Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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