PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
