Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
