How'd it feel making her break her religion?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
