sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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