I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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