woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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