Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize