Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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