Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
