went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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