Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
