The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
