I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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