morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
birth control should be required to get into college
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
