you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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