And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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