I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
