i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize