look no pants
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize