I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
