Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
