My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize