what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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