Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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