Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This girl is more easily done than said...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
