I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
