I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
