I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
