You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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