At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i can't believe i had my finger in that
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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