vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
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Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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