Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize