so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....