he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
