just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises