I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
