Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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