to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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