im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
