as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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