the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
