I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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