You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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