she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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