yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
