i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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