i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
