and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
