And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
