Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
