haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
