be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
